When I was pregnant I signed up for weekly emails from dozens of well known websites. I loved receiving these short quips of information every week telling me about my baby's development inside the womb. Since my sons birth last October I started receiving monthly emails from these same websites with insight into what my son would soon be learning and achieving as wells as tips on how to encourage his growth and progress. About a month ago the email I was sent really interested me and reminded me of some studies I had read while in school a while back. The email contained only one small tidbit of information about how boys are less drawn to playing with stuffed toys than girls. I had noticed my son would play more enthusiastically with his trucks and toy balls, and only occasionally tossed around his soft toys. Out of curiosity I decided to do more research on the topic.
Psychologist have determined that boys are quicker at figuring out mechanical motion. This was something that I noticed with my son, Nathan. When given the choice to play with blocks and play with his stroller he was all over the stroller. In fact every stroller he sees he has to inspect. He will get down on the floor and check out the wheels, he will push the stroller to watch the wheels move and then repeat the process. Today Nathan watched me mow the lawn, later when he was allowed outside to play in the grass he immediately went for the lawn mower and was trying to push it forward like he had seen me doing earlier. Since he has been given so many opportunities to play with thing with wheels he now assumes that anything that has them will move for him if enough force is put behind it; The other day he was not happy that my husbands cooler would not move when he pushed it, despite checking and double checking that it did , in fact, have wheels. My husband and I nurture this ability by taking him to drag races, mud bogs, off road races (anything with cars- it's a family hobby, and my son seems to enjoy it already) as well as allowing him to explore items both typical and a-typical for a child (ie. toy trucks, toy balls, his stroller, the vacuum cleaner, etc.)
Boys are actually more emotional. They seem to be harder to self sooth. Boys tend to be more easily distressed than girls and actually cry more than girls do. When I was pregnant I had all these thoughts on the 'type of parent' I would be. When my son was born and was instantly a clinger, a crier and a lot more needy than I had anticipated I was stunned. My husband still doesn't seem to understand it, whereas I have come to accept that this was the way my son is. I have learned to put a word to my sons feeling- 'I know you're frustrated', 'I know you're tired', 'I know you're mad'. I hope teaching him how to express himself verbally will help cut down on the fits and bursts of tears.
Interestingly enough boys have been found to be comparatively more fearless. My son may cry because I have walked out of the room, and fears I won't come back, but if I turn my back for one second he is on top of the fireplace, the coffee table, has pushed his stroller over to the bookshelf and is now climbing up it, or any other number of dangerous activities. Because of his interest in mechanics he learned how to open the baby gates after them only being up 2 weeks, and I have found him at the top of the staircase laughing his little butt off at me yelling 'DON'T MOVE!' as I rush to grab him before he head dives. It baffles me that my son is such an emotional being, and yet his fear of danger or injury seems to be non-existent.
Boys are typically more physically active than girls. They are wigglers and squirmmers making diaper changes and sitting still harder for boys. (This also plays a part in why boys tend to potty train later than girls- it's harder to get them to sit and wait.) Apparently this difference can start in the womb, as it has been noted that boy fetus' move around more. Nathan was so active in the womb that I told my husband if it was possible to diagnose an unborn child with ADHD that my son would be the prime candidate. Since his birth he has sat still a total of maybe 3 hours a day... Heck, he even crawls in his sleep!
Little boys tend to show more aggressiveness than little girls. It is assumed that testosterone is the culprit here. The funny thing though is that by grade school age girls are more likely to throw temper tantrums with the full blown kicking and screaming. I guess the most important thing is to teach the child 'No' and what the limits and boundaries are. My son, Nathan has hit the phase where throwing his toys and hitting the dogs is highly entertaining, but my husband and I have set our limits: 'It is OK to throw the ball, just not at my face.' and 'You can pat the dog, but you need to be gentle'.
Girls tend to be capable of talking earlier than boys. Their vocabulary is often larger by by 18-24 months. The important thing here is to make sure your child, no matter their age, is exposed to language and expression frequently. Before my son was born I did research into baby sign language and found that children seem to have a reduced case of the 'terrible twos' if they are able to express their needs and wants earlier. Through sign language my son was able to tell me he wanted to nurse by 7 months, and now at 11 months can tell me when he is 'All Done' with his meal or bath or what have you, along with numerous other signs and word phrases. I made sure to familiarize my son with the the most useful words and signs at every chance that presented itself. I can ask him if he needs a diaper change and he can tell me yes! Not only am I setting him up for successful potty training, but I'm teaching him to express himself in hopes of avoiding too much of the tantrum phase.
While these are not the case for every child out there, I can see where my son fits into these categories to a 'T'. When my son took to playing with toy trucks and pushing them around making the typical 'vroom-vroom' sounds I laughed at how 'cliche' and typical my boy seems. I suppose now this assumption was actually incredibly accurate as he fits the mold of what psychologist's research shows a boys activities, behaviors and developmental milestones should be for his age. That's not to say I will steer my boy towards only playing with toys and activities typically assigned just to his gender, but it appears his tastes just fall into that category for now. Babies are not easy no matter the gender, so I can't say I have a preference of one sex over another for my children. I feel extremely blessed to have my son, and to have a child I can play in the mud with and wouldn't trade him for the world. We will just have to see what our family is blessed with in the future... perhaps a little sister for Nathan?
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