Breastfeeding: My Support System

I was lucky enough to have given birth at a wonderful hospital that is very pro-breast feeding and refused to release me from the hospital until I made an appointment with the lactation consultant for 3 days out. Thank goodness for this, as by the third day my son did nothing but scream every hour of the day. As it turns out my milk still had not come in and my poor son had lost 11% of his body weight. He shrunk down to a wrinkly, little 5 lbs, 11 oz. The lactation consultant didn't bat an eye and hooked my son and I up to a tube and syringe full of formula so we could supplement at the breast. She sent us home with an insane amount of formula and a handful of syringes, where my husband and mother helped me feed my son- since this took more hands than I come equipped with.

I felt incredibly broken. I desperately wanted to provide my son with the best nourishment, but my breasts just didn't work. Thankfully, about 3 days later my milk finally came in, making both a happy child and happy mom. By my sons 2 week check up he was up to 6 lbs, 1 oz and by his one month check up he was up to a whopping 7 lbs, 10 oz.

I felt an incredible bond with my son during our breastfeeding sessions, and felt empowered by my ability to provide the best start I could for my child. As I felt more confident in my choice and ability to breastfeed I watched my support system slowly deteriorate.

My mother claims to have breastfed both my sister and I when we were infants. She was a great help in the beginning. When my son was a newborn she was helping to place the feeding tubes in his mouth while I placed him on my breast.  Interestingly enough she began to make comments starting around when my son hit the 6 month mark. I have heard numerous times that I should stop because he's old enough, or because he can pull my shirt down in an attempt to nurse on his own or because he has teeth.

My sons pediatrician, Dr. A, was my biggest supporter when I first told him my plans to breastfeed. At my sons appointments through 6 months of age his doctor would compliment me and give me a much needed boost with comments like 'Great Job, Mama.' At my sons 9 month appointment, however, the doctors tone changed. He asked me how long we planned on breastfeeding for and I said 'Not past 2 years- that's my limit'. The doctors eyes got wide and his face scrunched with disgust at the thought of me breastfeeding over a year and *Gulp* possibly to two years!

My husbands initial reactions to hearing my plans to breastfeed were positive. He was pro-breastfeeding for our son, so I assumed his support would be continuous. I don't think he knew how often my son would need to eat, and that sometimes it would need to happen in public. My husband wanted to go out to eat with his friends for his birthday; my son and I spent almost the whole evening in my truck as my husband had asked me to breastfeed in there instead of at the table where his friends could see. Anytime my son would cry my husband would blame it on my faulty breasts and tell me just to make him a bottle. I heard numerous times for the first 9 months or so that I should just give my son bottles as it would be 'easier'. My husband comments that my son is too attached, in part due to the breastfeeding. When I told my husband my initial goal was to make it to a year breastfeeding he assumed that meant I would cut my son off, cold turkey at 12 months. When I informed him that I plan to let my son self-wean off the breast he was somewhat shocked.

My father in law has surprisingly been the only support I have that hasn't dwindled. Admittedly the times I had to breastfeed at his home were awkward for me, but he always comments that it's the best thing I can do for my son. I have even over heard him telling my husband about the benefits of it. My in laws have been great, and don't even bat an eye at me whipping my boob out for my son.

From the start I have had  and sought out a support system for myself. I knew I wanted to breastfeed, and I knew it would  be smart for me to get the support from other mothers in my position, and whom share my beliefs. I found my local La Leche League and started attending meetings when I was only 6 months pregnant. My son has grown up with some of these children. It is great having a group of women that are comfortable enough to breastfeed their child as they need, as well as a place to vent, ask for advice and where I can learn while my son plays. Along with the La Leche League meetings, my son and I have visited the Baby Cafe and have spent time with a wonderful lactation consultant and a fantastic group of mothers. When my family support system started to collapse I still had (and have to this day) the support I have built up around me from mothers and professionals.

To be honest there have been times where I have wondered if bottles and formula would be easier, but the bond I share with my son, and the looks he gives me while staring up at me make me incredibly proud of myself for continuing as long as I have. An infants nourishment comes from breast milk or formula for the first 12 months of their life and we have almost made it to this precipice. At only 2 days shy of 11 months old my son shows no signs of giving up nursing entirely as of yet. He loves trying new foods and being able to feed himself at meal times, but nothing beats the comfort of curling up on Mommy's lap and nursing.